I was recently on a wedding forum where the bride was asking about wedding veils and if she should wear one. Most of the brides stated something about it’s your wedding do what you want. Lovely, except the bride probably had mixed feelings about the wedding veils issue, hence posting the question on the forum. This got me thinking so I decided to write a post.
First and foremost, if you’re a bride let me tell you that it’s NOT just about you. I realize that I have gone out on a limb and have probably alienated half the bridal population out there with this statement but let me say it again. A wedding is not JUST about you. It’s a way to SHARE your special occasion with your loved ones. If you want it to be JUST ABOUT YOU my advice is to elope and to start looking for a good lawyer because you’re going to need one in a few years (or months) when you file for divorce! For the rest of the brides out there, the wedding is a celebration, a way to immortalize an important step that you are about to embark on with your FH (future husband – see I’m learning the lingo.) So as I said earlier, you’re planning a wedding because you want to share that wonderful feeling with your loved ones.
So let’s get down to brass tacks…why does everyone want you to wear a wedding veil? Along those same lines…Why would you prefer NOT to wear one? I’ve discovered that when you drill down some and get to what an issue represents then you’re well on your way to finding a solution. Let’s start with wedding veils and what they represent. First of all, they represent tradition. Which begs the question, what is tradition. To me, it’s a custom that is passed down from generation to generation. Ohhhhhh, so it’s a way for one generation to SHARE with another generation. So maybe the reason that your grandmother and mother want you to wear a wedding veil is so that you share a tradition and share in their love. How does that make you feel? Warm and fuzzy, I hope!! Now let’s talk about not wanting to wear a veil. Ask yourself WHY don’t you want to wear one? Do you feel that they are old fashioned? Are you worried that you will be saddled with this big thing following you around all evening? Are you freaked out that removing the veil will mess up your hair? Try to be honest about what is the real issue.
Once you understand what the issues are really about, then you can go about finding solutions. A little wisp of tulle maybe all that’s needed to create the appearance of a veil. Perhaps wear something for the ceremony but remove it for the reception. When all else fails, involve your family and create a new tradition. By that I mean, if your family has an heirloom veil, work with a bridal milliner to incorporate a piece of the veil and remake it into a modern fascinator. You’ll get something old and something new out of it. Similarly, borrow a piece of jewelry and incorporate that into a bridal headband. By working together, you’ll create treasured moments that you will all remember long after the vows are exchanged, the dances are danced and everyone heads home. I’d love to hear what you think? We used to have a comment below but I spent SO much time deleting spam from bots that I finally threw in my hat. BTW, if you’re on your phone the comment box was ALL the way at the bottom and you needed to keep scrolling…more…a little more…almost there…before you could see the comment box. But you can still share this post and your thoughts…